Anger

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

The soothing tongue is a tree of life,

but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4

A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict,

but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. Proverbs 15:18

 The Spirit of anger and rage is a destructive force in relationships. It puts a wedge in relationships and divides people. Much has been written on anger management and how to control anger. Let’s look at three scriptures on what one can do and one element is to “control the tongue”. Notice what scripture does not say. It doesn't say to not feel anger, but we are  to control what you do with it and how we express it. What one thing people do is to respond to anger by saying things or coming back in defense through words. Ah, the tongue. So many times the tongues gets us in trouble! Let's go a little deeper shall we? Let’s look at anger that is in us and we are the ones experiencing the anger. Verse 18 addresses that when anger is sent outward and expressed in words and actions, it stirs up conflict. This is setting yourself up for a battle with another person. It invites conflict and intices anger from another person. The second area to look at is when anger is directed at us. This is another area that we are to watch our responses. Scripture tells us that no matter how  an angry person expresses his anger through words,  we are to be “patient” and “calm” and not react to the anger of another person. (I must add in that if someone is acting out to us in a physical manner, that is another story and  this form of anger cannot be tolerated. We are defining the anger that comes at us from another, in the form of words.) When one says an angry word or action toward another person, the receiver has two choices. The receiver can react back in defensive anger through responding in angry words and it will then escalate the encounter into a quarrel. The other choice is NOT to react and to not engage the offender by reacting to the anger. I have learned in many of our prayer sessions that the root of anger is “fear”. Fear of man, fear of intimidatation, fear of loss of control. When one feels like they cannot control others or a situation, then they get angry. Not being able to control a situation or a person will usually trigger anger. Make sense?! I know of a young married  couple that have been married less than a year and they are going through an adjustment period right now and they are having quarrels. They are fighting and triggering each other in anger. It takes two to fight, so one needs to walk away and get calm before the harsh words escalate into a quarrel. They begin the “dance”. One says a harsh word, the other returns with a harsh word and they go back and forth. Just like a dance and the anger gets a foothold. Not good. Each one wants to be the winner! The only one that wins is the enemy!We need to keep these scriptures in hand, use them as our sword to fight this spiritual battle of anger in relationships. We also need to remember  about not engaging in anger and allowing the enemy to have a foothold. 

Question: What have you learned today about not engaging the spirit of anger through the use of our tongues?